[At that, Raphael looks away quickly, the creeper-stare breaking for the first time in a motion rather unlike her normal deliberate movements.]
There are plenty who agree with you. [Does she? It's hard to say. Raphael needs to go back, to right what was done to her and win the war to raise her brothers. She's certain of that. She is, she reminds herself for the third time in a row, because that is what she wanted before, and her will is what matters. But she has little desire to return to a world with that creature calling itself her Father in it; Castiel-the-monstrosity genuinely scares her. Raphael knows she has to go back, and she looks forward as always (dispassionately, nothing at all like the desperate yearning that she doesn't (can't) feel, because that is the province of lesser beings) to the simple peace that Armageddon will bring- whether Paradise and the cessation of pressure, God returning home, or even the quiet of death by Lucifer - she wants it.
Still. She knows perfectly well that, as she is, she can never go home. Were she to return, somehow defeat Castiel, raise Michael and Lucifer, and accomplish every single one of her goals, she would still be a monster. She would still burn, the pain heightened by the all-enveloping presence of the Holy Host. Even seeing her brother again - the one from her time, grateful beyond measure to see her after his captivity - would make no difference.
But she can't tell Rachel that. Even explaining why she was incapable of healing was more than the archangel was willing to reveal. So she remains silent.]
no subject
There are plenty who agree with you. [Does she? It's hard to say. Raphael needs to go back, to right what was done to her and win the war to raise her brothers. She's certain of that. She is, she reminds herself for the third time in a row, because that is what she wanted before, and her will is what matters. But she has little desire to return to a world with that creature calling itself her Father in it; Castiel-the-monstrosity genuinely scares her. Raphael knows she has to go back, and she looks forward as always (dispassionately, nothing at all like the desperate yearning that she doesn't (can't) feel, because that is the province of lesser beings) to the simple peace that Armageddon will bring- whether Paradise and the cessation of pressure, God returning home, or even the quiet of death by Lucifer - she wants it.
Still. She knows perfectly well that, as she is, she can never go home. Were she to return, somehow defeat Castiel, raise Michael and Lucifer, and accomplish every single one of her goals, she would still be a monster. She would still burn, the pain heightened by the all-enveloping presence of the Holy Host. Even seeing her brother again - the one from her time, grateful beyond measure to see her after his captivity - would make no difference.
But she can't tell Rachel that. Even explaining why she was incapable of healing was more than the archangel was willing to reveal. So she remains silent.]