somethingspecial | 20 [Text] 12:30 AM.

[She's quiet for a long moment. She appreciates the thought and a part of her would love him to take some of the heat off of her --

But the larger half of her shakes her head.]

It will do nothing but cause trouble. It's also none of their business. I told them to be civil and now they will have to deal with me.

Somehow I thought you'd say that. [He smiles a bit] You know you're being amazing, ever since I got here. I know they probably all think you don't know better and that you'e making the wrong choice but - I meant it when I said I'm happy to be here because of you. That I get to talk to you like this.

[It makes her stomach turn over, that he's... happy to be here, because she's here. And Rachel knew Jesse well enough to know that he wasn't lying.]

It's never a choice to be kind when someone needs it. Sometimes that's all you have in the entire world.

[It's quiet, but she does lean into his side, a little more. Rachel knows he doesn't particularly care what they think of him, but Rachel does, because Rachel knows what it's like to be tossed aside without a second thought, and it hurts.

Maybe it's just a confidence issue on her part, she muses, but all the same.]

You won't let me compliment you tonight, I gather? [He laughs a bit, a sound that has affection-fondness-love into it. He knows it would have been easier for her if he didn't love her, he also knows he could never not love her. They spent a year apart, but ever since he got here he has been seeing her quite a lot and it felt oddly natural]

Well, compliment me on something worth complimenting, not being nice.

[But the retort doesn't have much of a bite to it. In fact, she's trying not to smile.]

You know I think you are as talented as I am - and being myself that says something [he laughs a bit, but his tone turns more serious, because he is serious about this. He'll never compliment Rachel as a joke]

You have something else to you, Rachel, passion. And it's amazing, when I say you're amazing it's part of it. You go through things, but in the end you'll always be Rachel Berry, and you'll never apologize for it. You know when I heard your song I really did think you got it right. That you finally see yourself like I saw you when we were together - this really amazing, strong person that could an amazing girlfriend - but could also be amazing without being a girlfriend.

You know you brought out my best, which is also saying something.

[She had mostly said that to be a brat, but hearing it all makes her feel somewhat better. Once he's finished, Rachel is quiet -- it's hard to believe that someone who she practically idolized before meeting thought that highly of her -- and the piece about getting it right nearly makes Rachel cry again, but instead, she does what any well-meaning diva would do.

She elbows him lightly in the ribs.]

That's for being a self-absorbed idiot.

[Before Rachel twists around to hug him, tightly. It was precisely what she needed to hear.]

[he laughs at the elbow. Hugging her back for a few good minutes before falling onto the grass clutching his side and trying not to laugh]

I don't think I'll live through that.

[She's tugged forward when he falls, but keeps herself upright -- it's a fruitless attempt not to laugh, at how dramatic he's being over an elbow.]

It hardly hurt.

[Rachel offers her hands to pull him back up with a grin.]

You're more of a drama queen than I am.

[He's so thrilled that he made her laugh, reaching and taking her hand]

I believe I told you the same thing once. Maybe it's one of those things that will never be determined.

You did.

[She pulls him back up. Rachel Berry: way stronger than she looks.]

And I think you're right.

I can live with that -

I suppose it's far more fun if left undetermined.

I couldn't agree with you more.

[She laughs a little before settling back on her heels, her hands in her lap. Dramatic and fitting.

A tiny voice in her head reminds her of how horrendous she must look, after wandering through Adstringendum in pajamas and crying to herself, but she quickly batters it away.]

You don't have to keep sitting out here with me, you know.

[he sits in front of her, going back to his laid back posture]

I like sitting here with you though. So I don't have to, I want to.

Well, suit yourself.

[She shifts so she's sitting cross-legged, ignoring the grass stains. Kurt was going to murder her for ruining her clothes, but Rachel could care less.]

Can I ask you something?

Go ahead -

Do you ever regret things? -- I mean, I know you're sorry, for what happened, and I am sorry for what I did to lead to that event. [Run Joey Run. Worst. Decision. Ever.] But do you think regret is worth it?

[It's something that's been bothering her, a lot, and Rachel is sorry about what's happened to lead up to the events that have her sitting outside underneath a tree with Jesse St James at nearly one in the morning, but regret -- is a weird thing.

It's also an entirely personal question, but Rachel pushes that aside.

It's the guilt that affects her the most.]

[It means a lot to him to hear her apologize, and so he'll be entirely honest]

I regret what I did to you, not only because I was a jerk and hurt you but because I lost something that I cared a lot about. I was loyal to who people thought I should be than to what I wanted. But I don't regret us - even though I was an undeserving idiot and lost you I can't really regret what we had.

[Rachel is quiet for a moment, resting her elbows on her knees to think, her chin in her hands.

Regret what made it end, but don't regret the things that made you happy, even for a small period of time.]

That makes sense.

[Smiles a bit]

I'm glad you think so.

It's something of a waste of effort, to regret the things that made you happy.

[She taps her lips with a finger before sighing, leaning back to rest against the tree.]

I'm going to have to go back to the stupid house eventually.

True - and they did. Made me happy.

[He smiles a bit] You'll walk in with your head held high.

[They made her ridiculously happy, too, but Rachel thinks what she said already pointed that out, so she won't bother agreeing.

Instead, have a wrinkled nose.]

I probably should have refrained from slamming every single door I could get my hands on during my exit.

[She blows her bangs out of her face with something of a huff.]

offline;

offline;

offline;

offline;

offline;

offline;

offline;

offline;

offline;

offline;

offline;

offline;

offline;

offline;

offline;

offline;

offline;

offline;

offline;

offline;

offline;

offline;

offline;

offline;

offline;