somethingspecial | Entries tagged with my heart is too big for this

[Rachel is holding a notepad close to her chest, looking somewhat somber. She's outside, in the ashy snow, with her dog at her side, by a tree that is half burnt and broken, twisted by the event. When she speakss, her voice is quiet.]

I have heard a lot of discontent over what has happened -- and people have every right to be angry with Mister Mandrake and Miss Hino -- but I think our real focus should not be on punishing two people who made a mistake and instead should be focused on the reality that we are going to run out of food before the next snowstorm of the season. Which is why I've organized three food drop-off points within the city in some of the stable buildings that are still standing. I would like to transform two of these buildings into a shelter and while I have heard Miss Hino has already opened the Temple of Heaven to those that need it, I would also like to point out that St. Basil's Cathedral is large and able to house a lot of people.

[She pauses before looking down at her pad.]

I've set up massive crates at the Temple of Heaven, St. Basil's Cathedral, and at the fountain in the Safezone. These crates are for any canned, jarred, or non-perishable food that can be spared for the people that have lost anything. I will collect whatever food is there three times a day, to be delivered at the closest area of need, but most of the collection will be going to either Miss Unohana's clinic or the two abovementioned buildings. I am going to rely on the honor system that no one will steal from these crates, but should people do so, please keep in mind that there are over one hundred people in this city that require food just as much as you do.

Any donations of blankets, clothes, and other materials needed that were lost in the fire are also appreciated. Please leave those in the crates, too -- I will ensure they are taken to the shelters and safehouses scattered around the city. And --

[Rachel chews on her lower lip.]

I know this is a very difficult time and a lot of people don't... necessarily believe in this, but I am going to St. Basil's Cathedral tonight at seven o'clock, should anyone else want to pray with me. Everyone is invited and -- for future reference --

[And Rachel sends the coordinates to The Temple of Heaven, the fountain, St Basil's Cathedral, and Unohana's clinic in a text attachment to everyone on the network.]

-- there's where you have to go.

Thank you.

[And Rachel shuts off the feed.]

[Text Sent To Network ; Attachment: Oh Holy Night]

[It's snowing. And Rachel is outside, clad in a green dress, with a red long jacket over it, complete with a green beret, readying a microphone outside of the theatre. It appears she's connected it to a speaker, which is connected to the sound system inside the theatre -- and the PCD is position directly on her, as Rachel wraps her hands around the microphone, to take a deep breath. It resonates, through the speaker, and through the network.]

It is now Christmas.

[It's quiet, and her voice echoes as she speaks into the microphone.]

I don't personally celebrate it, but as most of the individuals within the city are most familiar with the commercialized version of the holiday, I thought I would offer something of a prayer in song concerning what the holiday is supposed to be about -- so... I hope you enjoy it. And I sent a text message to all of you, with the lyrics, should you want to sing along. I would not mind the accompaniment.

[And Rachel turns slightly to press a button on a boombox that is situated on top of the speaker. There is a silence before the instrumental of the famous song begins to play, scratchy at first, before it becomes clear -- and then, Rachel takes another deep breath before she begins to sing.]

( cut for song exposition )

( [Filtered to the angels // Private // Unhackable] )

To anyone that has ever died --

[It's quiet, and Rachel pauses, noticeably.]

-- is there a way of getting what you lost back?

[She's died. She's terrified of wandering Adstringendum alone and can't work up the nerve to go to her theatre after what happened there. She has yet to figure out what her death price is. Anna is gone from Adstringendum. And Rachel, who spends every waking moment of her time singing whenever things gets too much, isn't allowed to sing.

Luckily, she can dance. Which is exactly what she is doing, when the feed clicks on -- Rachel is at the dojo, in a corner of it, dressed in exercise clothing, sweating profusely as the music to one of the only working casettes she has working blasts out of the old boombox she has rigged into working. The choreography Rachel is using is directly from the original video and she is putting everything she has into replicating one of the most famous pieces of dancing in the history of music. After all, this is reportedly the best album of all time -- Rachel should do it justice.

But when she spins, she spins a little too quickly, and her feet catch together and, to her horror, Rachel falls squarely, yelping as she lands on her behind. She's still for a moment -- and the Van Halen solo kicks in -- and suddenly, Rachel darts to her feet and moves to a cloth dummy in the corner, and she begins punching it. As hard as she can, repeatedly, and she nearly knocks it over in her rush to pulverize the living hell out of the sparring dummy, perfectly in time to the bass of Michael Jackson's hit, before she punches it one last final time to send it to the floor with a dusty crash and a cough. But that isn't enough -- she kicks it hard enough to send it rolling into the wall, which shakes the PCD into shutting off.]

Les Miserables, written by Victor Hugo. It was originally published in French, in the year 1862. It captures the spirit of the French people, in the way that only Victor Hugo could manage. Some parts of the novel are long and tedious, but the strength and charisma of the characters shine through even through the darkest times.

In 1980, it was played for the first time in Paris as a musical. In 1985, the English adaptation was performed in London. In 1987, it opened on the Great White Way, and has been played there, to sold-out audiences, ever since.

I would like a copy of Victor Hugo's Les Miserables, written in English. If anyone would be so kind as to lend me one, I would be very grateful. If I could keep it -- I can offer several books in return. I don't care what it cost. I need a copy of it. And if anyone finds a recording of the original Broadway soundtrack -- or any soundtrack -- I would give anything for it. It is only important that the numbers Do You Hear The People Sing? and Red & Black are functioning properly for now.

I also require assistance in becoming extremely inebriated. Preferably with someone who is not a psycho-murderer.

I would also like to see Arthur Pendragon.

[There is a tinkling of piano -- a few stray notes -- a few casual scales -- before Rachel tries to sing softly to herself. It's obvious that she's crying. Her breath keeps hitching as she tries to hold back sobs, but Rachel, being Rachel, tries anyway.

The opening chords should be pretty familiar to anyone ~~who has any taste in theatre~~ who knows Rachel.]

Oh, my man I love him so -- he'll never know... all my life is just despair, but I don't care...when he takes me in his arms, the world is bright... alright...

[Her breath hitches and Rachel abruptly stops singing, drawing in a shaky breath, before she tries to continue -- but it just ends in another sob and the feed shuts off abruptly.

There is, however, a text sent afterwards.]

Jesse went home.

[There is the faintest tinkling of piano through the feed, forming the beginning of the finale to one of the best Broadway musicals of all time -- well, if you ask her anyway. A well-trained ear will be able to hear uneven breathing, very faintly -- but it stops, soon enough, as Rschel begins to sing.]

I'm limited...

[The quickest inhale of breath, as Rachel forces herself to speak the lines that melt in between the beautiful melodies of the song.]

Just look at me -- I'm limited...and just look at you, you can do all I couldn't do...Glinda...so now it's up to you... For the both of us. Now it's up to you...

[There is the slightest hitch of breath, as Rachel continues to play -- the moment of hesitation quickly being glossed over as Rachel begins to sing Glinda's role.]

I've heard it said that people come into our lives for a reason...bringing something we must learn and we are led to those that help us most to grow -- if we let them... and we help them in return...well, I don't know if I believe that's true -- but I know I'm who I am today, because I knew you...like a comet pulled from orbit as it passes a sun... like a stream that meets a boulder halfway through the wood... who can say if I've been changed for the better? But because I knew you... I have been changed for good...

[The piano playing becomes more emphatic, stronger, more passionate, and when Rachel sings the next piece of the song, there is something very different about her voice. It is stronger, passionate -- it is the perfect fit -- because Rachel has reached Elphaba's piece of the famous duet and this is the role that she belongs in.]

It may well be that we will never meet again in this lifetime... so let me say before we part -- so much of me is made from what I learned from you -- you'll be with me, like a handprint on my heart -- and now whatever way our stories end -- I know that you have re-written mine by being my friend --

[Her voice chokes, ever so slightly, at the tail-end of the last note -- but Rachel is a professional and she sings through it bravely, not skipping a beat, despite her error.]

Like a ship that's blown from mooring by a wind off the sea -- like a seed dropped by a skybird in a distant wood -- who can say if I've been changed for the better? But because I knew you, I have been changed for good --

[A brief silence, as Rachel plays, before she delivers the next words with such emotion and heartbreak that it's almost entirely believable that she's singing on stage in front of a sold out crowd in the Gerswhin.]

And just to clear the air, I ask forgiveness for the things I've done you blame me for -- [the slightest pause, as Rachel switches roles seamlessly] -- but then I guess we know that there's blame to share -- and none of it seems to matter anymore -- !

[And her voice swells, as Rachel carries the note while playing the piano to keep up, before she sticks solely to Elphaba's role. There are numerous glitches -- singing that passionately while trying not to burst into tears is difficult, to say the least, but Rachel doesn't seem to care. Her perfectionism is lost in the moment, and she tries her best to continue with the song.]

Like a ship blown from it's mooring by a wind of the sea! Like a seed dropped by a skybird from in a distant wood! Who can say if I've been changed for the better -- ?

[And, suddenly, Rachel's voice softens, and so does the piano, into a quiet admission.]

... I do believe I have been changed for the better. And because I knew you... because I knew you... because I -- knew you... I have been changed...

[The final notes of the piece follow the last dying notes of the song as Rachel whispers the final two words.]

For good.

[There is a long silence, and it may almost appear that Rachel Berry has hung up on Adstringendum -- or that the recording was an accident -- before she continues quietly.]

Kurt Hummel has left Adstringendum.

[And the feed ends after that.]

[Rachel is calf-deep in water, holding her puppy Evita, staring at the completely and utterly flooded theatre that she has been renovating. Some parts of it have resurfaced as the water has finally begun to recede -- the stage is visible, as is the tips of the chairs of the orchestra pit -- but there is still quite a lot of damage done by the past event.

Her expression isn't shocked, necessarily, but more of a grim acceptance of what is before her, with a definite tinge of sadness in her eyes. Eventually, she hugs the dog a little closer to her chest, despite the squirming, and she finally says, in something of a small tone:]

I suppose Don't Rain On My Parade is woefully inadequate to fit the scene before us, Evita. Perhaps something a little more subtle -- though I don't think even I have a song in my repertoire to fit the bill.

[She rests her chin on the top of the puppy's head, before she adds, a bit miserably.]

... I don't even know where to begin.

[There's a long silence -- but there's the sound of breathing, so the feed is definitely on -- and it sounds as if Rachel is debating whether or not to say anything at all, judging from the soft humming coming from the voice feed.

She's thinking.

But, ultimately, she speaks softly, with some trepidation, plenty of concern, and a lot of sadness.]

It's been days. Why -- hasn't Anna come back yet?

[But then, Rachel seems to rethink her question, and she clears her throat softly.]

Though I suppose sometimes it just takes longer than others, doesn't it? Death -- it's rather traumatic, of course, and sometimes the Animus just want to take longer -- maybe it is for dramatic effect -- a grand encore for their work --

[Another pause, somewhat harsher, before her voice becomes a little quieter.]

... it is bizarre how that -- death, returning -- destruction -- all of that has become normal.

[There's the quiet sounds of piano seeping through the network, along with the softest singing:]

525,600 minutes... 525,000 moments so dear... 525,600 minutes... how do you measure, measure a year... in daylights, in sunsets, in midnights, and cups of coffee -- in inches, in miles, in laughter, in strife... in 525,600 minutes -- how do you measure, a year in the life?

How about love... how about love...how about love... measure in love... seasons of love...

[Her voice trails off as she focuses on the piano for a moment or two. Her breathing is even, steady, slow -- and when Rachel continues the song, she sings each part with a special amount of attention, with an extensive amount of emotion and passion as the song goes on.]

525,600 minutes, 525,000 journeys to plan, 525,600 minutes, how do you measure the life of a woman or a man -- ? In truths that she learned, or in times that he cried, in bridges he burned, or the way that she died -- !

[She draws out Collins' note, letting it trail off naturally, before picking up the song again -- it's a quick interpretation, a mild change to the group number -- ]

It's time now to sing out, though the story never ends -- let's celebrate, remember a year in the life of friends -- remember the love -- oh, you've got to, you've got to remember the love -- you know that love is a gift from up above -- share the, give the, spread the love --

[A trail of piano keys as Rachel elects to sing the background chorus instead of hitting Joanne's last high note -- and when the song finally ends, Rachel is quiet, before there is the quiet sound of the lid of the piano closing, and the PCD clicks off soon after.]

ooc; I've been at Adstringendum for one year today. ♥ I love you guys.

[Rachel is on stage, pacing in agitation. She looks positively exhausted -- there are circles underneath her eyes and her hair is pulled back instead of hanging loose around her shoulders, like it normally is. The music following her is quiet, at least -- but soon, drums are heard -- a guitar, and Rachel stops in her tracks, in the dead center of the stage, before she closes her eyes.

And finally decides to give into the event and sing.

She does the choreography perfectly -- the voices heard alongside hers are exactly as Rachel remembers them -- the music is perfect -- and the event purposefully leaves out Rachel's voice, in the 'recording', so that she can sing along. When she gets to the end, she's grinning, and she stops on the edge of the stage, a hand outstretched to the audience, before she begins to speak:]

If we sing that every single week before Nationals, it would help our morale enormously -- because the most important thing, fellow Glee club-bers, is that we remember precisely where we came from. That is our true strength --

[She clasps her hands together.]

I really think we have a shot at beating Vocal Adrenaline, but Finn, you need to project mo --

[But as Rachel looks up, to her right, she stops speaking abruptly. Because there isn't anyone there.

Her shoulders slump slightly as she presses a hand to her forehead, sighing to herself shakily as she turns back towards the curtains.

Someone hates this event way more than she thought she would.]

Current Mood: lonely

[Rachel sounds distracted -- but her tone is sincere and quiet, at least.]

I'm -- really sorry for how I acted this week. It seems, for a brief moment, that I entirely forgot where I came from and --

[There's the tiniest hitch of breath before Rachel clears her throat, steeling her nerves.]

While apologies will not take back what was said and done, I wouldn't feel right not offering one, anyway. So, I am sorry, and to whoever I spoke with during the event, I can assure you that I am not that much of a --

[...]

-- soulless witch.

( [Filtered to Blaine // Private // Unhackable] )

( [Filtered to Jesse // Private // Unhackable] )

i am not coming home tonight

[Nope. That's all you get. ~~Filters are a bitch when you're crying.~~]

ooc: after this post

Current Mood: crushed

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Rachel Berry

2025

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Rachel Berry ★

Being a part of something special makes you special.

Entries tagged with my heart is too big for this

50 [Video]

49 [Video] After Raphael's death.

45 [Voice]

44 [Accidental Video]

39 [Text]

35 [Accidental Voice/Text]

32 [Voice]

30 [Accidental Video]

27 [Voice]

25 [Accidental Voice] 7:30 AM.

24 [Accidental Video]

22 [Voice]

20 [Text] 12:30 AM.