somethingspecial | 18 [Video]

[Rachel is seated on her bed, legs crossed, a notepad in front of her, a pen between her teeth. For a moment, she appears to not know the PCD is recording -- but then she looks up, checking something off on the paper on her lap.]

I have a few items to address, so if everyone would kindly listen, I would very much appreciate it.

First, I appear to have lost my memories of this place. Luckily, I am a very avid journal taker, so I have been re-reading my experiences in this world. To those who I was friends with, I would like very much to reconnect with you and catch up. [And here, a watery smile -- a warm tone.] So, please, tell me what I've forgotten. And I apologize for forgetting.

[She looks down at her notepad and ticks something off before continuing.]

Secondly, I would like very much to know what attacked Blaine so we can have that creature put down immediately. If it was not a creature, but a person, then I will have you know that you are a coward and worth none of the kindness these people possess. You will be caught and punished thusly -- if you have the courage to come forward and say something about it.

[Another look down, another check mark.]

Thirdly, I would like to arrange an official schedule for the Glee club rehearsals. To anyone who would like to join late, please contact either Kurt or I to schedule a time for us to listen to you sing.

[A hum -- another check mark -- and, suddenly, Rachel's voice becomes very tense with annoyance.]

And speaking of Kurt -- this is item four -- I would kindly like to speak with you concerning my business immediately. I will be in my room. If you do not come here within five minutes, I will come find you, and I will not be happy about it.

[Rachel looks down at her list, before humming in appreciation, flashing the PCD a smile as she reaches out to shut it off, before she pauses.]

... and, Jesse, I made it back safely.

[With that, she turns the PCD off.]

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[She doesn't say anything for a second -- she's simply reading one of her journals. But when she's finished with the page she's reading, Rachel snaps the book shut.

When she speaks, it's very quiet.]

I wrote down what Karofsky did to you. What I saw, inside your head, during that week, just in case this would happen. It must have been humiliating, to have that happen.

[Her fingers tighten around the book.]

I never told anyone. And there's a reason why I don't want people knowing what he did to me.

[Because it didn't take Rachel very long to figure out that all of Solve et Coagula knew that Jesse had done to her.]

[By the snap of the book, he's since moved into the room, shutting the door behind him firmly before leaning against it, eying Rachel carefully, as her entire demeanor really looks annoyed.

And when she speaks, he's figuring out why.]

Alright, two things before you continue.

One: you were never supposed to know about Karofsky. And it wasn't humiliating as much as it was... [Terrifying, but even Kurt has to draw lines. So he pushes his lips together firmly, trying to figure out just how to keep responding to this. It's so easy to fall on old habits and just have a screaming match with Rachel, but this is a friendship he desperately wants to keep]

Two: Jesse is different, Rachel. You have always gone weak in the knees for the first guy that comes along with a great voice and an almost genuine interest in you. It worked out with Finn, sure, to a point. But at the beginning your crush on him was as ill-founded as mine was.

And after what Jesse did to us-- to you, I don't see how or why you could possibly even want to talk to him.

[There's a slam as Rachel tosses her diary on the ground to stand up.]

I am tired of people thinking that I'm so weak! Don't you think I understand that I've screwed up, that I trust people too easily? I get that -- I get that I'm not going to get that stupid happy ending, I'm not going to be the girl who gets the brass ring, and I don't care anymore because I don't need it!

[She fights down another yell, her fingers curled into fists as she swallows thickly. Good job, Hummel, you've gone and made her cry. Well, nearly. Rachel stubbornly refuses to let herself cry ~~again~~ today.]

Regardless of whether or not Jesse is here, it was not your place to tell everyone we live with what happened.

[The fact that Rachel Berry - Rachel Barbara Berry - is nearly pushed to tears is probably even more effective than any slap could be. And it has him standing there, watching like a deer caught in headlights for a moment until his mind catches up with him, until sighs and raises a hand to pinch at the bridge of his nose in frustration]

I don't think of you like that. I haven't for a while. But everyone has their weaknesses. Yours are boys who can sing and mine are boys with a proper love of fashion and the ability to pull off Katy Perry.

But I am not going to apologize for simply doing what needed to be done, Rachel. Jesse is a danger, not as much as some of the others here, true, but emotional warfare is the worst one of all, and he's an expert at that. And seeing as I don't quite have the same sort of influence over Solve as you do, given most of them just stop listening, I only had one course of action to let people know just why Jesse can not - no matter how much he bats his eyes at you and sings Broadway love songs - stay here.

I was speaking with your best in mind. As a friend.

Edited 2011-03-30 00:46 (UTC)

You obviously do if you really think that's what my biggest weakness is.

[It used to be. Oh, it used to be. The attention, the desperate need to be popular -- But now, all Rachel wants are her friends. To be a part of something special. And now that she has it... she can't fathom going back to the way she used to be.]

I'm not going to allow him to hurt me again, nor is he staying at this house. I brought him to the clinic -- simply to ensure his safety.

[And here, her voice trembles.]

Because I know how it feels, to be an outcast, and to be laughed at by everyone you know. [Including her friends.] And I refuse to be as cruel as that to anyone, including Jesse, especially in a world where all of us are trapped.

If you have a problem with that, then I'm sorry. You're going to have to deal with it.

I'm going off my experiences, Rachel. The last time I saw you - outside of Adstringendum, of course - was before Christmas. You were explaining your big plans for Finn's present to me.

[Because that... should explain things a little more. He knows this Rachel is from a better, stronger place, but... damnit he still worries. And that's really the main motivation behind what he did. Sure, there was a small part of it that wanted Jesse shunned for life because of his own status as co-captain and his own chance at solos, but it was a small part. Ninety percent, if not more, of his motivation was from the fact that he is honestly worried for Rachel.

All of the New Directions were misfits back before they met up all that time ago. Friendship is still new, even for Kurt.]

.... Okay. Fine. I won't be happy about it, but I'll suck it up. [He sighs and fixes his hair a bit, a nervous habit in an awkward situation. Really, it was Rachel blatantly telling him that he was in effect "bullying" Jesse that broke him down.

And Rachel, that is not an easy thing to do. Kurt is stubborn bar none most of the time.]

I... apologize. I was out of line and it won't happen again. [He makes a bit of a face] Just promise me you know what you're doing.

Edited 2011-03-30 01:21 (UTC)

I promise.

[It's quiet, and Rachel stoops to pick up her diary, placing it neatly on her bed.

Before she crosses to give Kurt a tight hug.

It's been a horrendous couple of days for him, too, after all.]

Good, because I--

[And then he's getting hugged, and after a moment of blinking in surprise, he's rolling his eyes and returning the hug, making it just as tight on his end.

It's been a horrendous month, more or less, and as much as he tries to act normal... well. Times like this, after a near actual fight and with that hug...

He's just tired.]

... You know I think of you as a friend, right Rachel? [A pause, and... he'll allow:] You're even slowly worming your way up to family status, but this is the only time I'll admit it.

[Rachel pauses for a moment before grinning a little into his shoulder -- she's short, it's not like she can hug taller guys properly without standing on her toes.]

I always wanted brothers and sisters.

[Don't make her sing Only Child.]

18 [Video]

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