Rachel Berry ★

[Oh, good afternoon, Adstringendum. Have one miss Rachel Berry, who is sitting outside, tying flowers into a large chain. There are already flowers tucked into her hair, but she seems intent on making more. Her puppy, Evita, is lounging at her side, half-asleep in the sunlight, but Rachel doesn't seem bothered enough to wake her up.

And did we mention that million dollar Miss America smile?]

Hello, Adstringendum!

[It's positively sung -- and Rachel looks towards the camera.]

I know that, lately, a lot of horrible things have happened -- people have died, been tortured, and other such horrific things that truly have no place in a civilized society. However, I believe we can all get past this with grace -- which is why I have a number of suggestions in order to make life here slightly easier and well -- better.

For starters, I believe we could all start by working on the tiniest amount of self-control. This will be difficult, but I have full faith we can all manage admirably with the support and well-being of our fellow man.

I also think we could all get together this week and try to get to know one another a bit better. We are all living here -- and I think we could all begin to act like one big cohesive family, as we should be! Perhaps we could have a picnic -- and we could all share wonderful and marvelous things about ourselves, like our talents, or our favorite foods, or what we like the most about the city! We all have things we enjoy doing, so we should share them!

And maybe we could also have something of a fair! My favorite part of this time of year is when all of the fresh fruits and vegetables come in and my dads would take me to the fair every year and let me eat whatever I wanted, because as I live in Ohio, there is not much option to eating unique delicacies that are not friend, and the majority of things fried are in an animal by-product -- which reminds me, does anyone know how to make tofu? I bet we could find soy beans and -- I would love hummus, has anyone ever had that before? Chick peas are delicious.

[She drapes her flower chain around the neck of Evita, who stretches with a yawn, and Rachel grins down at the puppy.]

I could even put on a performance for later in the day -- something to capture the bright and cheerful atmosphere! Bright and cheerful, bright and cheerful... Oh! I have it!

[She pulls the puppy up onto her hindlegs, and Evita blinks at her, before Rachel starts to sing, almost nose-to-nose with the mutt.]

If you wake up and don't want to smile, if it takes just a little while -- open your eyes and look at the day! You'll see things in a different way!

[Evita barks, and Rachel hugs the puppy.]

Don't! Stop! Thinking about tomorrow, don't! Stop! It'll soon be here -- it'll be better than before -- yesterday's gone, yesterday's gone --

[Don't mind her. She's just going to keep singing to her puppy and building flower chains until someone tells her to shut up. And even then, Rachel will probably keep going.]

[Twelve Midnight.]

Is this a -- ?

[A dozen beeps -- whoever has the PCD is pressing an assortment of buttons.]

Hello? Can anyone hear me? Mercedes? -- has she not set up her voicemail, this is ridiculous --

[Another series of buttons.]

Kurt? Hello, it's Rachel, I need someone to come pick me up -- is there no service? --

[A much longer pause, before the girl dials another series of numbers.]

... Finn?

[As if she would rather utter any other name and, this time, her voice trembles slightly.]

I really need someone to come pick me up, I think I've been kidnapped --

[But when no one answers, three buttons are pressed.]

Hello? -- even without service, 911 should work, what is this -- I told Dad I should have switched to Verizon --

[And then, the PCD clicks off.]